T.I.M. - A Hero is Born

It seemed like a normal Thursday evening commute – cluttered streets, backed-up busses, and this lone Caucasian bopping in time to the IPod offered rhythms of Natalie, a gorgeous Spanish-American R&B artist you haven’t listened to, but should. Yeah, I blend.

Now Orchard Road is always a circus, but never more so than just before dusk. Street performers, upward gazing tourists, and a sea of slow-moving locals collectively conspire to stifle my progress. It’s amazing how quickly I’ve transplanted my New Yorker-ness to the Singapore streets. “Yeah, I’ve got a lot of things to do tonight buddy and waiting for you ain’t one of them. Let’s move it.” I don’t actually say that of course, but I think it real loud as I blast through the crowd and onto a less populated side road.

That’s where it happened. I was standing on the corner, furiously pressing the crosswalk button, willing the light to change, when suddenly this madman had the audacity to attempt a heinous crime. Yes, unthinkable as it sounds, this dastardly criminal intended to Jay walk. I was stunned, my new Asian sensibilities astounded. After all, such an act constitutes a kaleidoscope of felonies or so I’ve been told.

But then, just when I thought all was lost, this man... this remarkable man of mystery, stepped from the shadows and cried out, (Actually it was much more of a subtle, pleasant inquiry) causing the evil-doer to rethink his actions and step back to the curb. Disaster avoided. Oh joy!

I had to know the identity of this hero. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t wearing a mask or some groovy spectacles, but we hadn’t been formally introduced and that sort of thing is expected here. So, like a giddy schoolgirl I boldly asked for the savior’s name. He hesitated a moment, but then raised a knowing eyebrow in hero-like fashion and said, “Melvin. They call me The Incredible Melvin.” I nearly fainted when his counterpart, clearly a trusted sidekick, said and I shit you not, “Let’s go Mel, it’s getting dark and there’s work to be done.”

Oh why didn't I have my camera?

Author’s Note: I didn’t realize Singapore had a superhero. Most cities do, but S’pore? It’s like the safest place on Earth. Still, like the MRT adverts advise: “Low crime does not mean no crime.” Well, underachieving criminals beware because T.I.M. is out there and he is on the case. I’ll be watching Melvin, you beautiful, magnanimous bastard. I’ll be watching and faithfully documenting your adventures as they unfold. The world deserves nothing less.